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My days off are so darn busy that the first day back to work Im tired as all hell. Now Im babysitting on Tuesday night for a 2 and 6 year old. My daughter is supposed to be sitting but I end up doing some of the work. My kids were all here last night for dinner and cake for my sons birthday. It was nice, didnt last long tho. They all have their lives to live and they dont include me. Its hard when your kids move on. So, anyway, my son seems to be doing better. Ive had to become the mom cop and its taking some time and causing some stress but its all part of being a parent. Ive asked the school to have weekly meetings with my son, my ex , the teachers and guidance councelor. I think this will be good for everyone. Keep everyone on the same page and let my son know that we are all watching him and care what happens. He thinks its awful that his parents have actually asked the court to put him on probation but he also is happy that we are fighting for him at school and trying to make it work for him. I think that he will appreciate what he are doing in time. My love like is on the slow lazy river. The same shit every week. I get no action at all. At night he has had too much beer or is just too tired and in the morning I have to get up and go. He did call last night tho. That was weird. I guess he was actually thinking about me. I really need to put more enfasis on me and the kids and the house. Its hard tho because when I love someone I love them all the way. Its just me. Ive spent so much money the last two weeks I could just die. Now Im working my ass off to put the money back in the account. I have all these grand Ideas about what I want to do. I just cant afford them. I want an iphone in the worst way. Its killing me. Everyone around me has them. I not only cant afford to buy it but I also cant afford the $60 a month charge for it. Its crazy. I was thinking that I would get a used one on ebay and then just not hook it up for data and use the wifi when I was in an area that had it. The used ones are going for $300. Anyway, I need to have patience. All of this in time. I want my new kitchen in the spring so I need to work on saving for that and getting my financing in order and planning and pricing and all that jazz. In the mean time Im going to make an apple crisp, some chillie, do some cleaning and errand running. Oh yeah, yoga tonight. My daughter is already giving me grief over it.
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I was having some trouble getting to sleep last night.� it had something to do with nootka pacing around the living room, like she was following something that bothered her.� or she had to go to the bathroom and wasnapos;t sure how to wake us up for it.� so this is around 11:30, and finally i rolled over, opened my eyes, and saw what appeared to be a shadow flicking back and forth between the living room and dining room, with nootkaapos;s head moving up and down with it.� naturally, i thought nootkaapos;s head moving was creating the shadow, cast off the light of our air cleaner that we use for white noise at night.� but as my eyes adjusted, it took on the familiar shape of a creature that iapos;ve battled with already this fall: another bat.

we had the door from the backyard into the house open all day, so it must have snuck in at some point as evening fell, probably drawn to it by the bugs flying around the back light.� well, since iapos;d already had a run in, and i was tired and wanted to get some sleep, i got up my courage and hopped out of bed.� i warned katie, who grabbed nootka and buried her head under the covers, refusing to look.

honestly, i must admit that it took me a while to formulate a plan.� the bat was doing figure-8apos;s, around the living room in a circle, through the doorway into the dining room in a circle, and back again- each time flying past the front door as it rounded the bend.� i forgot that bats donapos;t really see escape openings, as demonstrated in my last encounter, and i moved over to the door and opened it up.

naturally, nothing changed.� the bat kept on flying in itapos;s figure-8 pattern like one of those toy racecar tracks from days of yore when you would just hold down a trigger and watch the car on itapos;s constant pattern (the only amusement out of that toy was building elaborate crashes).� i moved into the doorway between the two rooms, directly in front of the front door, and tried to direct the batapos;s flight by waving my arms at it as it began itapos;s transition out of the dining room- hoping to keep it out of the living room (where nootka, despite being held by katie, still tried to jump up and snatch the bat with her jaws whenever it flew past) and eventually out the door.�

it was totally useless- the only worthwhile outcome was for anyone who happened to be walking down the street, who would have seen a mid-20apos;s guy in his pajamas, standing in front of an open front door with the lights on, bicycle-pedalling his hands in the air and randomly ducking down to aparantly nothing.�

i got hit a few times- this bat was very discombobulated, bouncing against walls and such- and occasionally ran into me on itapos;s way past.� frustrated, i grabbed my pillow.� i thought about trying to trap it in my pillowcase and taking it outside, but instead (it could have been because of how late it was) i just swatted it out of the air.� the poor thing skidded across the ground, sliding on the hardwood floors towards nootka, but i hit it again like a hockey puck towards the door.� it regained composure just at the right moment, taking flight only to find itself within the front doorway- luckily deciding to head out onto the porch and into the night.�

iapos;m still trying to figure out the best air-traffic-control equipent for bats.� the broom wasnapos;t really ideal, as it didnapos;t have a very large surface area to steer with; and the pillow really is only good for smacking the little buggers out of the air- not really a suitable tool for directing.� and i certainly donapos;t want anything that the bat will get tangled up in... Any suggestions would be appreciated.

in other news, katie and i headed out to pawtuckaway state park today with a couple of friends to do some rock climbing- it was pretty cold (itapos;s finally starting to frost at night here, and reaching the mid-50apos;s during the day), and the routes ended up being a bit harder than they were rated to be, but it was an adventure nonetheless.� itapos;s wonderful to have a top-notch climbing area only 25 minutes from our house- we love living somewhere where we can legitimately go climbing just for a morning or afternoon and still have time for other things during a day.� that definitely was not possible in bloomington.� katieapos;s website is up and running (katievernon.com), and her work looks great� as for school, iapos;m doing what i can to get into trouble.� iapos;ve got a project iapos;m working on that should change the face of outdoor leadership training forever, so thatapos;s nice- itapos;s always good to have an idea that would really make a difference and realize that not really anyone else had done it before... As for what that "thing" is, itapos;ll be a secret for now.� canapos;t let anyone steal it.� that means you.

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Government bureaucracy strikes again.

So, I got my manager to buy me a UPS a while back. That reinforced the fact that I am out now of USB slots on my PC so he told me to go out and buy a USB hub. He said that I should just get paid back with a petty cash claim. "Cool", I sez and go out, buy the item and submit the claim.

Our clerk tells me that since it is a "tech" item, all tech items need to be vetted through our systems guy. Systems guy tells me that I should return the already opened device and resubmit my request through our new e-Procurement system. I tell this story to my manager who is in the habit of using the "emergency" exemption with the staff in his office without any issue, and is annoyed that our staff are not playing ball. Clerk submits question to her boss about it and her boss confirms that systems guy must approve it. Luckily, the systems guy caved in and signed off on it.

And on top of that just as I got back to my desk I got an email from my manager who said (in so many words) that he had over-exceeded his authority in telling me to buy the hub and that in the future we need to go through certain procedures, which apparently nobody has been particularly informed about in the first place.

At the same time, there is a conference coming up in a month that many of us want to attend. I guess I was the first to apply because I was told to fill out certain paperwork which has always been standard, plus the Conference Attendance Approval form, which is new to us. The problem is that this form goes on up to the highest echelons for approval and takes forever to be approved AND this form is actually intended for scientists going to scientific conferences (usually in places like Greece or Sweden or Brasil). All our local high-end people didnapos;t think the form was necessary and apparently so were the bureaucrats in the end.

As a bonus I did some sucking up to the clerk and the systems guy since they make it all work and you NEED to have them on your side. :)

This has probably been the more boring LJ entry I have ever posted.


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Sorry for some leaving you on the edge about my post last night. I was just so frustrated with trying to make everyone happy, sacrifcing everything that i have, and just to balance every single fucking thing out. It wears the heck out of you, i can tell you that. And i just broke down, and gave up. Its worthless to even try anymore just to make you satisfied these days. But what about me? dont i deserve something to be at least satisfied about? this is MY life, get that right. Make me live it my way. Please.

on another note, lets move on about today :)

hahha, dress day today with me, kalie, cassie, and tara. Yesss we looked oh so adorable yeah? no camera though shoot. Oh wells, every 16th (: went off to hubbs, and got right down to buisness. Almost finished with our project, im glad. "are you ok? you seem sad." ahh, i have when people ask you know? to be honest, i HATE�it when people feel sorry for me, cause it makes me feel so pathetic in life. Gah, but im glad i spilled out to you, no doubt. You have the right words to say, and to know that im not alone makes me feel like im not alone in this. Thanks. Break, was ok cant remember what happened though, LOL. Oh wells. MATH�WAS�HILARIOUS. OMG, HECKA�FUNNYS WITH�DANIEL�BY�MY�SIDE :) no snitches, its fun throwing things at her. Too bad for her, but its was enjoyable. Lol, duuude. She was wearing all white, i felt so tempted to get a red marker and say that she started on her period (; shoulda coulda woulda done it, but nope. Im good. She got so mad at us that hahhha, she made us take a pop quiz on the last few minutes of class. I did so bad, probably everyone else. She cant even speak english -_- cant wait to get into geometry. Daniel, lets make a petition and say that casper did it, better yet, jesus. Hahhah, lunch lunch lunch. It was fun walking around with kalie, otherwise sitting there would be kinda awkward and fake dont you think? im just trying to avoid that. But yeah, no wonder they werent any at lunch kalie they were at iron oven and kababayan hahha, damn dude, we should of joined that. Oh wells, talking of clubs, i think ill drop interact. I just cant find the time or oppertunity to do leadership style things. But im gonna keep CSF, for sure. Anyways, people left cause they dont have 7th period, feels oh so empty. Went to pratts and GOSH, she is such a bitch today. Total bitch, gosh. Makes me mad as hell, i wish i could switch to sit with daniel, really. I see i see i see, HIM (x hes cute, but gosh.. His voice bothers me. Its not, cute enough. Ahh, lol. Hella homework in that class just cause we got the most As. Crap. Mmm, my partner is bugging the crap outta me. He is annoying. I felt like my day went UP then ALL�THE�WAY�DOWN. Goodness to gracious, i hate going home. And dolly, you really had me thinking about it more than i did before, thanks HAHHAH, well see how it goes.

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So last night was Edison and Cherilynapos;s joint birthday celebration.

Highlights?

- Giving them their presents without any wrapping because I didnapos;t have any time throughout the week.

- Dinner at Panda Inn

- "Good bibes."

- The fucking honey walnut shrimpppp.

- Making my comeback after being MIA since April

- Free Patron

- Random guy giving me his glow-cubes after I was making fun of him the whole night.

- Rapping with lesbians.

- Showing Oscar the shower dance Jannice and I made up at Urban Moapos;s.

- Cherilyn smoking so randomly.

- John and Iapos;s dance battle. HAHAHAHA On video.

- Drinking Jack for the first time since May 2005

- Edison tapping out 30 minutes before his actual birthday.

- My signature poses with KOapos;s. +2 on that album, bizznaaay.

- Dancing by myself in the corner to Daft Punk while�Chris and Edison get kicked out of the club.

- of course forgetting my phone at home so I was freeeeeee from itapos;s craziness.

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She had been going through her days feeling forgetful, as if she were almost forgetting her life as she was living it, and the only connection she could find to her past was the idea that things and people that are beautiful are easily lost and just as easily forgotten. It was as if there were magic words she had forgotten, and now that they were gone were not going to pop into her head by a kind of willful remembering, the simple urge to bring something back that had left. These imaginary words that might have opened up an imaginary cave were now gone for good, and that was the way her life was feeling, something that was disappearing as soon as it came into view.

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